Taufik's First Day at School

(Taufik in our apartment lift, looking apprehensive)
Monday, September 4th 2006 was Taufik's very first day at school. He donned on his checked dark blue pants, white collared t-shirt, fresh white socks and a pair of beautiful leather shoes in blues and browns. He had with him his Mickey Mouse trolley bag, in which was packed his bottle of milk, ventolin (in case of asthma), his red bus (which I had to sneak out later and left in the car), extra set of clothes, school cap, and pampers to wear during the nap time. All in all, he was a well equipped and adorable little nursery student.

I had prepared him for weeks now that he would be going to a new big school. We had visited the school three times. And he had pointedly said to me that he liked this school versus Pan Asia. But then at Pan Asia he was bullied by an Arab boy who had grabbed his toy and tried to slap him on the face when he demanded it back. So I had to take it with a pinch of salt of course.

(Taufik walking with his father to the car)
And since it was his big day, Kim decided to join us in our first day at school trip to Park Place. Taufik went in his father's car, just father and son driving together, trailing behind me while I drove my truck like a maniac trying to make it in good time, so Kim wont think the school was too far away.

When we arrived, parents were milling about beaming proudly, (you wouldnt believe how proud they looked - or should I say 'we looked'?) children looking squeaky clean in the glaringly bright white shirts. Taufik walked through the school gates with Kim and I, with full outfit on i.e. including the cute little school cap.

There was a table set out with the school folders, and on each folder was printed the name of a child. We found Taufik's folder and I cannot describe the sense of pride, the amount of emotions that coursed through me. I could feel my heart bursting with joy for this privilege of experiencing this moment of parenthood. A moment I thought as lost to me those days when adopting a child seemed an impossibility.

We were ushered to the nursery where we were introduced to Taufik's lovely gentle teacher, Ms. Helen (she reminded me of my old teacher Ms. Gee). A delightful little classroom, all prepared and ready with two paint easels, pallettes of paints, brushes galore, a large pail of sand with sand toys, a large pail of water with water toys, books and more toys.

(Giving mommy a last peeky glance before going off)
Taufik clung on to me. The draw of the toys not there at all. I looked at Kim rather apprehensively, Kim looked at me as if an anxiety attack was truly on it's way. The other two children already present were busy engaged in little productive activities and it was their first day too!.

Ms. Helen was looking a little dismayed as I tried to explain to Taufik that "Mommy's going to school, just two hours and I'll be back for you darling!" said with every intention of remaining calm, yet that sentence ended rather shrilly.

It ended up with my literally kicking my son off me, and prying his super strong grip off me, with my husband looking as if he was dealing with a terrible inner conflict. I shoved Kim out through the door, said "Help me, please!" to Ms Helen so that she would take Taufik off me. But she, I think was rather overwhelmed, this being her first day at her teaching job, and a first time dealing with a mad Asian woman and a distraught western father so unlike those very well controlled proper British fathers and mothers she must be used to dealing with. And oh how I wish I could say that it ended there. But it didnt.

Kim and I lingered around school, though they really tried to get rid of us. We were lingering around on the pretext of wanting to pay the school fees, we were told by Mr. Potter the owner to come again another day, "Not to worry, can always make payment next week." Oh no you dont I thought, I am gonna stay here just in case my son falls apart.

We bought more uniform for Taufik. Paid the school fees and in between, Kim could not resist peeping into Taufik's classroom. Hoping against hope that Taufik had 'settled down'. Purely wishful thinking I tell you.

He had not settled down, indeed he was still half sobbing half struggling to get out of his classroom. But worst of all the three times Kim and I peeked at him, he spotted us! God forgive us for our foolishness and may Ms. Helen forgive us for making her job that much more challenging.

Anyways, after those three blunders, enough was enough. We trundled out of the classroom.

It was just a few minutes past eleven when I finally arrived to take Taufik back home. I walked through the school gates just in time to witness another parent picking up their bawling child (Thank God I am not the only parent with a child enrolled in the resistant movement).

As I neared Taufik's nursery, I could see that they were having a story telling session, Ms. Helen was seated on a chair with all the kids clustered around her on the floor...except for Taufik. He was royally seated on his teacher's lap but when he spotted me coming to the door he jumped off, ran for his trolley bag (how come the bag was so important?), and bulleted his was into my lap head first, his trolley bag rolling bumping and jolting all over the place.

He began bawling, is that a surprise?
'
I exchanged a few words with Ms. Helen then carried my son AND his trolley bag out to the truck. I left him in the truck while I filled his bottle milk with cold milk from the dispenser in the canteen.

In the car with his head on my shoulders while I drove, he said to me, "I love Mommy so much. I miss Mommy so so so much." I felt touched and a little sad, not often my son tells me two loving things with so much sincerity and emotion as this time, and a little sad that it came as a result of being 'abandoned' in school.

Later in the playground, when I was asking him about his day in school, and commenting that Ms. Helen 'is such a gentle and beautiful teacher', he said to me, "Mommy is soo beautiful. Nope. No Ms. Helen." Oh dear, that's the way it's going to be is it?

After that first day Taufik has not gone back to school, cause he fell sick with the flu. And upon the advise of Dr. Narida, he is to remain home for a whole week before beginning school again. It's the rainy season and so many children are sick, Taufik being an asthmatic is more susceptible to these than others, so I have to becareful.

I deduce that Taufik had a difficult first day compared to others because, I think most other children have working parents, many of them are left at home with the maid and have limited opportunity for socialisation, and may often be a little bored. Whilst Taufik often goes around with me to three playgroups a week, shopping, bill paying, parent child gatherings, birthday parties, summer parties etc. And my liberal way with his nanny Na means that he also has so much chance to go to her house, play with the Thai kids there, going fishing, rabbit petting, football and what not. Not to forget he also goes to the child play centre nearby two to three times a week where he plays with his regular friends.

It's hard for school to compete, with it's strange teacher and people, with the rich life he has at home with me and his nanny. Funny isnt it, how keeping yr child active at home, means that it makes school that much more tedious? I am therefore glad that he is enrolled in school early. So that it is a habit that is cultivated early on in life and therefore becomes a way of life for him.