Caring in sickness.

It's been tough, of course it has. These last two years has been tough. Each time I am about to face my exams either one of these two things occur. Taufik getting hospitalised for pneumonia (happened twice), for stomach flu (once), or family getting broken up.

This time I am facing my final exams for my second last semester at school. And Taufik is down with a most terrible and vicious infection that gets him coughing and has also attacked his lungs. His breathing is ragged and he is losing weight. He is but skin and bones and Na and I are fighting hard to fatten him up.

Alhamdulillah he is better now. Lungs are clear, I can verify this with the help of my wondrous stethoscope toy I bought from Toys R Us.

After three days of excessive worrying, six trips to the hospital day and night to get him on the bronchodialator, and sleepless nights in bed, for fear that my son stopped breathing, he is on the mend.

What I've learnt- a little about steroids, a lot about asthma, and a much more about being a mother. I realise that I have a child susceptible to infections and will do so till he is older and stronger. But most of all I search for the reason why I am going through this. And I find that the answer may be different for different people.

But the answer for me is I learn that love grows from caring, commitment strengthened from caring. Having a sick child, and feeling constantly under the threat of losing him, and making that effort to run around hospitals, staying awake, caring for him, and gathering all the faith and energy within me to be gentle, patient and understanding of his condition makes me love him even more.

Isnt it funny that when you make the effort to take good care of your things, the more you treasure them?