Faling in love with Inaaya

Loving your child upon its arrival is a given. At least it is true for me.

I have sat in buses, on benches in parks, in restaurants and shopping malls watching people - adults and children alike, asking myself this question - what if that was my child, could I love him/her? Always I think to myself, I could.

When Inaaya was placed in my arms the first time, I loved her till tears came to my eyes. Grateful was the word etched in my heart again and again as I held her.

But when did I fall in love with her?

I think it was the day she lay on my chest and fell asleep while I was getting my hair washed at the saloon, and Taufik was lying on my lap trying to create a little space where he wouldnt push Inaaya off me. I looked at my daughter, she half opened her sleepy eyes just to make sure that it was still me she was lying on, then closed them again to resume with her nap.

Then later again that night, while lying on my chest, I was watching the TV with Kim, she half opened them again, looked at me for the longest time with such love and adoration that my heart surged with happiness.

To be loved by your child - this all consuming, needy love - it is breathtaking.

It is nice to have a baby again, especially when my son is so independent now that he finds Mommy half the time a nuisance that gets in his play way. He doesnt need me so much anymore. He screams, "Let me do it myself!" when I try to button up his shirt.

But it is also nice, when thinking that your son was enjoying a sleepover at your neighbour's place with his best friend, William, to find him at the doorstep in the middle of the night cause he was caught sobbing in the dark while in bed, telling the adult who found him, "I miss my Mommyyyyy sooo much!"

He gives me a white Jasmine flower he plucked on the walk back home and tells me to smell it and wear it cause it makes me beautiful.

Oh to be loved by your child, let me count the ways...